The Great Camp-out

Friday, 5:00 p.m. We've arrived at our campsite. As anticipated, we are the farthest site out. A fire pit and a picnic table are all that distinguish our lot from the surrounding forest. The parking lot is approximately 1/4 mile away, as Mark can attest to since he walked the trail approximately 37 times to bring our gear back. Thank goodness for Becky, and her endless supply of camping equipment that was loaned to us. It will make our first camping experience as a family much more enjoyable.

Friday, 6:00 p.m. Mark is putting up the tent now, and the kids have explored every inch of our surroundings. They especially like to play in the dirt with the beach toys we brought. All of their explorating has caused them to grow too hungry to wait for a campfire. It's time to dig into the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches I have packed. Oh - wait - Mark can't find the tent stakes. Time to call Becky to ask where they might be.

Friday, 6:10 p.m. Becky tells me that Ryan had put them in the outside pocket of the tent bag. We rechecked the pocket, and it is empty. Mark will have to get creative. He's hunting for small branches now to pound into the ground.
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We have visitors! Mark's Aunt Sue, Aunt Marianne and Uncle Jim just trekked back to our campsite. They are staying at the same campground in their RV's, and have come to welcome us. I'm sure they're impressed by Mark's wooden stakes; it matches the primitive atmosphere of our campsite. I think we'll all take a walk to check out the rest of the campground and to visit Aunt Sue's RV.

Friday, 7:45 p.m. After a good visit at Aunt Sue's, and a trip to the park playground, we are back to our site. It's time to start our campfire!

Friday, 10:00 p.m. We're off to the tent to get the kids to bed. They loved the s'mores, Abby especially loved to roast marshmallows. We sang a few songs, and enjoyed the campfire smell. They kids are dirty, and loving every second of it. Once the kids are asleep, Mark and I will sit around the fire a bit more. Ahhh... beautiful nature.


Saturday, 7:20 a.m. There is rustling in our tent... little children stirring from their sleep. The sound of birds and other campers fills the air. It's time to start our day! But boy, is it chilly. It was supposed to go below 50 degrees last night, and it sure feels like it did.




Saturday, 11:00 a.m. After a fun-filled morning exploring, gathering pinecones and playing in the dirt, we're off to our next adventure - Mark's extended family reunion. It's just a short walk to the picnic area where family is already starting to gather. It should be fun! I hope we don't smell too much...

Saturday, 1:45 p.m. The reunion has been a lot of fun, with a lot of good food. Abby and Ethan have been running around all over, but Ethan is definitely slowing down. It's time to try a nap - I will take him to the tent while Mark and Abby enjoy the reunion.





Saturday, 6:00 p.m. We've left the picnic in order to scrounge up some dinner. We've had hotdogs for lunch, and it doesn't sound very appealing right now. So we'll try some canned ravioli with green beans and grapes. It's not the most deluxe camping meal, but it is simple, which is what this weekend is about.



Saturday, 9:00 p.m. After dinner, we headed back to Aunt Sue's RV. There were lots of people there from the picnic, and there was a lot of food. The kids roasted hotdogs over the campfire, while I opted for a cup of coffee. We visited while the kids played with sandtoys, and then walked back to our campsite and started our own campfire. Tonight's treat was cinnamon sugar sprinkled on bread cooked over the fire. Pretty yummy! We're putting the kids to bed now --- Abby is running on fumes! Then we'll enjoy some more adult time by the fire. What a vacation this has been!



Sunday, 8:15 a.m. The kids are waking up now. We haven't slept until 8:15 ... um... ever? This fresh air and fun is sure doing us all a lot of good. I haven't felt this relaxed in a long while. And I am so happy to see the kids having so much fun.

Sunday, 11:00 a.m. We've packed the van, and are ready to head home from our terrific vacation. Next stop, a big breakfast at a restaurant on our way home! And this week we will definitely have to look for a sale on tents - we're doing this again for sure!!

Baby Feeders

WARNING - this post is about breasts. Stop reading now if you are uncomfortable!!
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There has been a lot of controversy surrounding this picture on the cover of BabyTalk magazine. There are a lot of people who think breastfeeding should be hidden from view (and I agree with discretion). But the comments people are making about this photo - equating it with pornography - give me a break! Breast feeding is God's amazing system of feeding our young. It is not sexual. It is not "dirty." It's a beautiful, natural thing.

I have mentioned in this post that breastfeeding is one of the things about infertility that I'm grieving. But I didn't mention that I tried it. A woman who has not just born a child can actually induce lactation, it's true. And because I had a strong desire to bond with my baby in this way -and- to provide the baby with good [free] nutrition, I decided to try to induce lactation. The most effective protocol recommends use of birth control pills, use of a breast pump, and use of a drug called Domperidone (which has a side effect of breast milk production). We weren't comfortable taking an unnecessary drug, and weren't comfortable with birth control pills [we practice Natural Family Planning], so I was on a pumping-only regime while we were waiting to see if the potential adoption (before Abby) would happen. For about a month, I pumped on a regular schedule, ramping up to every three hours, and once during the night. After a month, I wasn't producing any milk (and really, there were no noticable changes going on either). So, I just kind of let the regime dwindle back down to nothing. A month after that, the adoption fell through, and 2 months after that, Abby was born.

When we brought Abby from the hospital, I tried to get her to latch on to my breast, similar to using a pacifier. We would spend five minutes working on it, and eventually give up and move on to other things. I was successful at getting a latch a couple of times, so I knew it was time to try actual feeding.

I had an apparatus that would supply formula through a tube that was attached to my breast. With the apparatus, when a baby tried to nurse, they would receive the formula through this "straw." The apparatus was a royal pain in the rear to get ready, and then to attach. When that was all set, it was time to try latching. I would put Abby to the breast, and she would flail all over [some things never change]. She would try to suckle, and get frustrated quickly. She would start to wail. And I would start to wail.

After a week of really trying to breastfeed, Mark suggested that maybe I should forgive myself if it wasn't going to work. I was so relieved. I had been feeling guilty about wanting to give up, and feeling like such a failure. It was nice to be able to forgive myself. Mark said that he had hoped I could breastfeed, but that not breastfeeding wasn't going to ruin Abby. I was very sad that I didn't breastfeed, but I was having a hard enough time adjusting to parenthood and couldn't dedicate all of the energy needed to breastfeeding. Had I been a breastfeeding mom, I'd like to think I would have been able to breastfeed discreetly, even in public. Breastfeeding is such a beautiful thing.

One of the blogs I regularly read is written by Kateri. She has a great post about the BabyTalk controversy, asking for women to post indiscreet nursing photos on their own blogs. She lists the links to them here. Check it out - if you dare.

Mom2Mom Tips: Grocery Shopping

I don't enjoy cooking. Therefore, it makes some sense that grocery shopping is not high on my list, either. But it is a chore necessary to anyone who eats, so let's make it simpler!

"Grocery Shopping"

• Create a store-specific list - I got this idea from my sister's partner, Nancy. I have made up a spreadsheet detailing the regular items that we buy by aisle number for my favorite grocery store. I keep copies in my kitchen, and when we run out of an item, I simply circle it on the list [if it is not on the list yet, I write it in for the proper aisle]. I save A LOT of time in the store by knowing exactly which aisles I need to go down (and skipping the ones I don't!) I then take a highlighter and mark any items I have a coupon for, so I can recheck the coupon once I get to that aisle. I staple any coupons I will be using directly to the list, so I don't lose them.
  
• Leave the kids at home - This is sometimes my best option, but I usually don't feel like shopping after they go to bed.
• Take hubby to the store - If we go to the store as a family, we take two carts and split up. Since we have a printout of the grocery list by aisle, I simply rip the list in half and Mark takes one half of the store while I take the other. Shopping really goes quickly!
  
• Making many trips - Before the kids were born, I shopped in a two-week cycle: The first week, I made one really big shopping trip and bought all of the non-perishables for two weeks plus any perishables I would need for one week. The next week, I made a second trip limited to the perishables we needed. Now, since I bring the kids to the store with me, I have found that going twice a week for shorter amounts of time makes each trip more manageable. The kids can behave well for 30 minutes, but an hour or more is definitely pushing it!
• Cool carts - our grocery store just got new carts that have TV's built in. For $1, you can rent the cart while you shop. I will not do this every time, but if it is necessary to shop at a time when the kids are really cranky, I won't hesitate to pay up.
• Choose the time wisely - My kids are the most well-behaved early in the morning. Our most successful shopping trips are right after breakfast, when they are full, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. Our worst shopping trips are right before naps are due, or right before lunch. I make sure to plan a shopping trip the night before so we can be out the door early in the morning.
• Hand it over - In order to keep the kids happy during the trip, I let them hold some of the groceries to "help" me. If they try to open the package, or bite through it [Ethan!], I immediately take it away. They will usually be happy holding the same box of cereal with characters on it for the whole trip.
  
• Rewarding the kids - a.k.a. bribery. We start each trip with, "if you behave while we shop, and stay in the cart, you can have [prize.] If you don't, you won't get to have [prize.]" Our prizes include: a trip to the pet department of the store, where we can look at the fish, hamsters and birds; a ride on the penny horse (our store still has one, if you can believe it!); a donut at the bakery (they split it); and fruit snacks in the check-out aisle (which I bring in my purse). I stick to my guns - if they have not behaved well in the store (like, I have to tell them to sit down and buckle up three or more times, or they just aren't listening to me), they do not get the prize. Sometimes, only one of them gets the prize and the other is carried out of the store crying. In that case, I hold my head high, knowing I'm doing right by my kids in the long run!

So... what are your grocery shopping tips? [I encourage you to write your own post about this topic, or comment on this post.]

Gathering nuts

It has been 5 months since our home study was completed. Five months of waiting, essentially. And I have not spent very much time preparing.

The thought of another child has been on the back burner - the very back burner. When I was carting around a broken arm this spring, I was grateful that I wasn't trying to cart around a newborn at the same time. When summer began, and all of our weekends were filled, I was glad that I was well-rested enough to keep up with our schedules. But now, as fall is approaching, I am starting to think like a squirrel and to gather nuts for the winter.

Preparing for Abby's arrival in our family was a long process. From the time our homestudy was finished to the time Abby was born, 21 months had passed. I had a lot of time to get the nursery ready and stock up on the essentials. And I had more than enough time to pine for a newborn.

When we were contacted by Ethan's birthfamily, we hadn't even started our second homestudy. There was no time of waiting for someone to be interested in us, or time spent worrying. Within three months of meeting his birthfamily, Ethan was born. We already had an infant at the time, so everything was ready for his arrival. Everything was prepared for him.

Over the past five months, my busy schedule has been a great distraction. I haven't taken any time to prepare. To worry. To pine. My memories of waiting for Abby are still fresh, and I am certainly not yearning for those helpless feelings again. But as our summer activities are winding down, I find myself thinking more and more about the possibility of another child, another sibling for our kids, another personality in the mix of our family. About how our lives would all change. About what kind of mother I could be to three amazing kids. About what awesome siblings Abby and Ethan could be to a little brother or sister. About the sacrifices that Mark, Abby, Ethan and I would have to make to welcome a new member of our family. About how incredible and incredibly difficult it would be. And I am hopeful.

We've started to physically prepare for a baby, should we be so blessed. This week, we purchased bunk beds. For now, they are separated and Abby and Ethan each sleep in one. Eventually, if we have a third child, they will be bunked to hold two boys or two girls. When the new beds were installed, the old cribs were taken down. One crib went to our neighbors, who are expecting a second baby. The other crib now lays in waiting, a reminder of our current status.

I am excited to start gathering nuts for winter, to really wait for a baby. I am filled with hope and with joy.

Full of bunk

The kid's have new bunk beds (currently de-bunked) --- ta da!

Abby is very excited about her new bed. She loves having sheets, and a new soft blanket. She looks so small in her bed now!

Ethan loved shopping for bunk beds. When we were finished shopping, he actually cried. "More bunk beds!"

Best of Luck to Robbie Baby and Dawne

On Saturday, Mark's brother Rob and his girlfriend Dawne will be moving to New Mexico. Rob will be attending art school there, getting closer to his dream of being a professional artist.

We wish them the best! We will miss them! And although I'm not Irish, I still send them with the Irish blessing:

May the road rise up to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,
may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Best of luck to you both, and may you flourish in your new home!

An Eye for Photography

Yesterday, Ethan says, "Mommy, take picture!" While I'm grabbing the camera, he and Abby set up their pose by the front door. Maybe Ethan has "the eye," eh?


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That's My 'Rinse!

While Aunt Jennifer, Uncle Danny, Emma and Ally were visiting a couple weeks ago, they decided to give Abby her birthday presents a little early (her b-day isn't until the end of August).

This video shows Abby opening her most prized gift, her very first Barbie doll. You would think they gave her a million dollars! Abby's so very happy about her "'rinse!" (princess). Jennifer's famous quote: "That's the best $5 I've ever spent!"



Video Highlights: Off-key birthday singing, "That's my 'rinse!", Emma opening Abby's present in the background
Video Lenght: 1 min. 44 sec.
Video Quality: Definitely not my best work, but what else can I do with a digital still camera? :)


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Mom2Mom Tips - Rewarding Kids Inexpensively

I have decided to start a new weekly feature item in my blog, which I will call Mom2Mom Tips. My hope is that other blogging moms will also write weekly about the same topic I am (for instance, this week is "Rewarding Kids Inexpensively"). That way, we can share tips with one another and hopefully all learn new techniques to help our daily lives run smoother. Those of you who read this but do not have a blog yourselves, you can simply post a comment to offer your own tips related to the subject. Simple, right? Jump on the bandwagon --- you know you want to! ;) And if you do write a post, let me know about it and I will link to it from this post.
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"Rewarding Kids Inexpensively"

• Sticker charts - my kids really respond to sticker charts, and I give a prize for receiving a certain number of stockers for good behavior (prizes start at 5 stickers for a new behavior, and 10 stickers for a behavior that is more of a pattern).
• Calling someone to brag - I make a point to call someone if my kids do something great or really cool (for instance, we called Grandma when Ethan slept in his big-boy bed for the first time). The kids beam with pride when they are bragged about.
• High Fives - I give high fives for cleaning up, going potty, figuring out a puzzle, etc. Abby and I developed "Far-Away Fives" (high fiving the air from across the room) and "Foot Fives" (high fives given in the car, my hand to the kid's foot). Abby especially thinks this is really cool.
• Silly songs - I am forever making up songs, so I make up a song when the kids do something spectacular. We have a special potty song that goes, "Abby did a peepee, a peepee on the potty, Abby did a peepee, a peepee on the potty! Do-do-do-do-do-do-do!"
• Feeding the pig - Mark keeps a collection of his pocket change, and if the kids have been good, they get to put some into their piggy banks.
• Dollar store - as a reward for sticker-chart behavior, I will take the kids to the dollar store to choose an item. They think it's fun to look at all the items, and they get to take one home, even!
• Self Pride - I watch Dr. Phil regularly, and I was very impressed with this parenting concept. He said that in addition to showing your kids that you're proud of them, you should teach them to be proud of themselves. I make it a point when Abby or Ethan do something really impressive to say, "wow - I bet you're proud of the great job you did!" or "you should be really proud of yourself!" I hope this teaches them to be their own best friends.

So... what are your tips on "Rewarding Kids Inexpensively"?

Ponies and Princesses

Today, Abby was playing with a Barbie doll and asked me to put a rubberband in her hair. I put her hair into a ponytail, and said, "see, her hair is in a pony!" Abby of course said, "[she's] not a pony, [she's a] Princess!" Recognizing how I had confused her, I restated, "her hair is in a pretty ponytail." To which she replied, "not pony tail. Mommy tail!"

Of course, she's right.

I Wanna Soak Up the Sun

Yesterday, I was reminded how nice it is to live just minutes away from family instead of hours as we used to be. My parents took the kids and I, along with my nephew Dylan, out to the beach on Lake Michigan. My kids hadn't been to the lake yet, and they LOVED the sand and surf. The weather was perfect - air temp of 80, water temp of 72. It was the perfect day for their first experience of the "big water." I hope we can go again before summer is over!

A Day at the Spa

Friends are family you choose for yourself.

Well, I did it. I cashed in my gift certificate to the spa from Mark and the kids for Mother's Day. And instead of going alone, I traded in my certificate for a "Friends" package and took my best friend Jennifer! Her family is visiting for a week, and we decided that we needed a girls afternoon at the spa while we were together.

We started with luxurious full-body massages (Jennifer's favorite part). Next, we were ushered to a room where we received whirlpool pedicures (my favorite part - my feet felt soooo good afterward). From there, we each headed to a hair stylist and finally a make-up artist. We had such a good time, talking and enjoying each other. We almost forgot that we had kids and husbands to get back to!

When we got home, we grabbed our husbands and enjoyed a really fun dinner at a Spanish tapas restaurant (where you order all sorts of dishes and pass them around so everyone can try). We had some really good food, including some alligator that Jennifer ordered for us. From there we took a walk around our downtown area, passing a motorcycle rally and an outdoor rock concert. We finally ended up at a deuling piano bar, which turned out to be too loud, too smoky and a bit uninteresting. Oh well, we always have fun together anyway! It's great to have time together as couples, like before we were married. It's wonderful that we are such great friends after all these years!

Choosing my toenail polish. I had no idea there were so many choices - and the names of the polishes are hilarious! I ended up with "Can't Help Falling In Love" and Jennifer had "Not Really a Waitress."

Jenn's hair was gorgeous!

Our makeup artist was so fun. Jennifer said, "I'm your canvas. Just don't make me look like a wh@re." HAHA!

Our feet have never looked so good!

Two hotties and their hubbies. :)

Overheard from the Backseat

While driving home from brunch today, the minivan was filled with the loud rrrrrriiiiiipppp! noise that only Velcro can make.

Ethan: "Abby Daniel! No shoe off!"

We had to turn our heads so he wouldn't see us laughing.

A Mini Vacation

This past weekend, Mark and I went to Indianapolis for both business and pleasure (for me, it was all pleasure!) Mark and his colleague, Bill, had a meeting with a potential client scheduled for Sunday, so Mark and I made it a two-day affair and had ourselves a mini vacation. Our niece Courtney stayed with the kids, and acted as their junior mom while we were gone.
Mark and I went to Conner Prairie, and learned a bit about life in the midwest during the early/mid 1800s. It was actually very interesting, we especially liked talking to the volunteers there who dressed up in period clothes and told us all about life at the time. The only downside was that the day was way too hot and humid for comfort (about 90 degrees/90 percent), so we were sweating buckets. It made us appreciate the modern convenieces we are afforded, like air conditioning!
We had a nice dinner at a really cool contemporary place called Music Mill, which houses a stage/dance club as well as a restaurant. Shawn Mullins was scheduled to perform that night, but we opted for the hotel pool instead.

The next day, we met Bill for breakfast and the guys left for their meeting. I went shopping. I shopped at a local open-air mall, which was so nice. It was so hot and humid again, that I was really excited to go from store to store and get back into the air conditioning! In all, I shopped for five hours (wow!) I bought a few shirts for myself and a couple of things for Mark and the kids. It was really nice to have nowhere else to be than shopping for fun. Heavenly!

The kids kept Courtney on her toes, but she did a great job. When I was her age (and beyond) used to help my sister out by watching their 3, then 4, and finally 5 kids while they went away. It's cool to see one of those kids filling that role with my kids! :) I am proud of the way Courtney is so responsible. We're very fortunate, and grateful to be able to have time as a couple!

Parenting Mistake #236

#236 Washing your children's Loveys.

When they figure out they're missing, you may get this resonse...

Or this one...
They may try to find a substitute...

Or try to pry them from the dryer when they're still wet...
But when the Loveys are clean, you become a hero to a boy who loves Baby...

And a girl who loves her blankie.

PS... please read the post below and delurk if you haven't already!

Thou shalt not lurk.

OK, so it's not a commandment from God. But it is a request from me.

I've been writing this blog for almost nine months now (can it be?) I've loved having this outlet to write about the serious things in my life, the less-than-serious things in my life, and to update anyone who cares on the progress of my beautiful children. Thank you, internet, for such a place! And thank you, Blogger, for making it free of charge!

I have written some personal things on this blog, and have no regrets about that. But I would like some feedback from you, my viewing public. I'm feeling a bit exposed. My statistics show there is a much greater readership of this blog than I'm receiving comments from (the rest of you are considered "lurkers" in the blog world). If you haven't commented, maybe it's because you're shy. Maybe you're technologically challenged. Maybe you don't find my blog that interesting, but don't want to write me a blunt comment saying, "Your blog stinks. I only read it for the cute pictures of the kids." Whatever the reason, a lot of my readers don't post comments.

I'm asking [begging?] everyone who reads this to post a quick comment to this post, just to ease my mind that there are people out there who care about my writing. If you're not comfortable with that, just send me a quick e-mail to teammeatblog@gmail.com. I won't bite. I promise. A girl just needs a little validation every once in awhile.

Instructions for posting a comment (there is no need to register or give out any personal information): Using your mouse, Click on this text or click on the link below that reads "X Comments" (X being the number of comments). Type the comment in the "Leave your Comment" box. Choose an identity (if you're not registered, select "other" and type in a name I will know you by - but don't include last names, please!) Type in the letters you see in a squiggly formation into the "Word Verification" box and click "Publish your comment." Easy as that!

Thanks to you, my reading audience. I've loved writing over the last nine months or so!

What's Up With That?

Here are just a few things I am wondering about. If I'm inspired, this may become a regular feature of this blog. Feel free to steal the idea, if you like. These are things that make me ask, what's up with that?

1. Cars and trucks that have bulletholes painted on them. Are the people that own them trying to appear dangerous? Are we to assume there is a person in the trunk, shooting to get out? WUWT?
2. The children's TV show Booh Bah. If you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about. Weird alien-like creatures bumping into each other or dancing around. And the music... WUWT?
3. Girls (and especially women) who wear shorts or pants with words printed across the butt. Do you really want someone reading your behind? Just like a bumper sticker on an automobile, any messages printed on your "bumper" won't inspire, so spare us from checking you out unintentionally.
4. People who never call their spouse or children by name in conversation. "My husband went out with the guys the other night..." or "My son is so funny!" If I've known you more than five minutes, please give me the courtesy of sharing the name of your loved ones, OK? I'm really brighter than I look - I can keep everyone's name straight.
5. Controversial bumper stickers. Do you really think anyone is going to "see the light" by reading your bumper sticker? I saw one the other day that said "I [heart] sober drivers." Do you think the drunk drivers are going to read that and go, "Huh. I never thought about the fact that people love sober drivers. I'm reformed!" WUWT?

For Everything Else There's MasterCard

Red bucket hat from Target.....$1
Faux leather jacket with
leopard print collar................Hand-me-down from birthcousin
Pullups with Cars print............$0.32
Beaded socks........................Gift from Grandma & Papa
Fuscia slippers......................Gift from birth-Grandma

Watching your two-and-three-quarter-year-old pick out her own clothes: Priceless

Impromptu Prayer

Today, before nap, Abby sat on the futon in Ethan's room. "C'mon, Mama. Sit here." So Ethan and I sat down next to her. She began to create a beat by patting her legs. "Oh, the Lord is good to me..." And my daughter sang the whole of "Johnny Appleseed", one of our standard nightly prayers.

Oh, the Lord is good to me,
and so I thank the Lord,
for giving me
the things I need
the sun and the rain and the appleseed.
The Lord is good to me!
[Johnny Appleseed - Amen!]

This is Abby's first time initiating prayer (she usually participates in some of the prayer, at least, but sometimes it's like pulling teeth.) It amazes me that she decided to re-create our nightly ritual, with all of us sitting on the futon and singing our prayers.

The Lord is good to me.

A Cinematic Experience

On Father's Day, Mark and I packed the kids up for dinner and a movie to celebrate the awesome Daddy of our family. It was the kids' first movie theater experience, so we were a little leary of going. But, the rainy weather determined that we were doing something inside. So to the movies we went.

We headed to our local burger joint first, ordering grilled cheese with a vanilla shake for the kids and burgers and shakes for Mark and I. It was yummy! Next we drove to the theater and bought four matinee tickets for "Cars."

After we found four seats in the theater (the kids loved having their own rocking chairs), the previews began. At the end of each one, Abby and Ethan would loudly cry out "more!" as if each preview was too short and they wanted to see more of the movie. After about a million previews, the movie finally began.

The kids did really well for the first hour or so, watching intently. And then they got a little bored. They wandered amongst our four chairs, venturing a little farther away with each pass until Mark or I hissed, "come back to your seat." Ethan was restless, and came up with his own idea of a distraction. "Potty!!" So Mark missed a few minutes of the movie while Ethan went pee. Shortly after he returned, Abby decided she wanted to see the bathroom herself. Of course, she didn't actually do anything on the toilet. We were beginning to think that all hope was lost until the tractors appeared.

There is a scene in the movie where two of the main characters go "tractor tipping" (similar to cow tipping, for those who haven't seen the movie). The tractors are very bovine-like and pretty dumb, so they were pretty funny. Abby and Ethan started to laugh. And laugh and laugh. Soon, I could hear some kid in the theater cackling and it made me smile to hear the joy. I looked over at Mark and Ethan, and realized that the cackler was Ethan himself! He was laughing so loudly, Mark and I couldn't help but crack up.

The rest of the movie held their attention fairly well. When we left the theater, I checked the time and realized that the movie is over 2 hours long. Ethan and Abby were amazingly good for such a long period of time. And they really did enjoy the movie, because since then they have noticed all kinds of advertisements for "Cars" everywhere we go and on TV. Today especially, I discovered how much they liked the movie. At the store, Abby and Ethan chose Cars Pull-Ups over Buzz Lightyear.

Move over, space ranger, there's a new Ferrari in town.

Summertime, Summertime, Sum-Sum-Summertime...

Java, Sweet Java.

Today, on the walk home from the playground, Abby started to head a different direction from our house.

Me: "Abby, where are you going? Home is this way."

Abby: "Stay here... I'm goin' for coffee!"

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As we pass any of the coffee shops near our home, you can always hear Ethan chiming in from his car seat, "Mommy's coffee!!"

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Do you think maybe I drink a little too much joe? Is there such a thing as "too much?"

I do love my job. Really.

Like every job, Mothering has its ups and downs, its good and its bad, the great work and the crap work. Like every job, there are periods where you are flying high and periods when you are ready to quit.

Lately, I've been ready to quit (no, not really, it's just a metaphor people!) But truly, I have been very dissatisfied with my job recently.

99% of my problem relates to parenting my beautiful, independent, brilliant oldest child, Abby. My feelings are complex, and my guilt level is very high. The fact that I feel guilty makes me feel like I'm doing a bad job which in turn makes me feel guilty. Why is guilt such a part of the fiber of Mothers?

Abby has been a challenge for me since around 15 months old (definitely by 18 months old). She is now nearing 3. And I need a vacation. Every day.

I am a person who likes to classify things, and although it is not right, I classify my kids. We've read a few parenting books, and some of them talk about temperament. They mention the "strong-willed child" or the "spirited child," one book even saying that only 10% of children fall into this category. I believe Abby has this temperament. Here is a list of characteristics of the "strong-willed child:"

1. Almost never accepts words like "impossible" or phrases like "it can’t be done."
2. Can move with lightning speed from a warm, loving presence to a cold, immovable force.
3. May argue the point into the ground, sometimes just to see how far into the ground the point will go.
4. When bored, would rather create a crisis than have a day go by without incident.
5. Considers rules to be more like guidelines (i.e. As long as I’m abiding by the "spirit of the law", why are you being so picky?)
6. Shows great creativity and resourcefulness—seems to always find a way to accomplish a goal.
7. Can turn what seems to be the smallest issue into a grand crusade or a raging controversy.
8. Doesn’t do things just because "you’re supposed to" --it needs to matter personally.
9. Refuses to obey unconditionally—seems to always have a few terms of negotiation before complying.
10. Is not afraid to try the unknown; to conquer the unfamiliar (although each SWC chooses his or her own risks).
11. Can take what was meant to be the simplest request and interpret it as an offensive ultimatum.
12. May not actually apologize, but almost always makes things right.

I would say that most of these are true of Abby. You may argue that every child behaves like that between 18 months and 3 years. I would say that Abby is definitely not every child. We are blessed to have a lot of toddlers in our lives, through church, friends and family. Many of them are close to Abby's age. They all have unique personalities and temperaments. And none of them are as fiercely independent, argumentative and "I do it!"-ish as Abby is. They all seem to relish their parents' approval (or are at least upset when their parents are disappointed in them). They all seem to at least listen to requests from their parents before either running away, blatantly disobeying, or screaming "no!" They all seem "easier" than Abby is.

I'm wearing thin. I'm struggling with determing which rules are really important and which can be stretched. I feel badly for Ethan that his rules aren't being stretched. I am not doing a good job of motivating or inspiring Abby to behave well for the sake of being good. I'm spending a lot of time walking away and counting to ten. I am scared that my supposed "control" over her will disappear and things will become completely unmanagable. I am envious of Mark's ability to "let things go" where she is concerned and only focus on the big stuff. I am tired. I am sad. I am guilt-ridden. I am failing.

It's not that I don't recognize the plus sides of Abby's personality, because I definitely appreciate her resourcefulness and creativity (if Abby puts her mind to it, I have no doubt she can achieve almost anything). I am so proud of the fact that she tries everything, and doesn't have a defeatest attitude (although I like to inappropriately credit our parenting for that). I can even appreciate her need for the rules to matter to her personally before she will obey. These things are all wonderful traits that I had hoped for in our spunky daughter.

Number 12 in the list above really made me stop and realize that Abby usually does "make things right." Sometimes, it's with a heartfelt and unprompted "sorry." Other times, it's with a hug at the most unexpected moment. And still other times, she just stops misbehaving without being asked [again]. These are incredible gifts that I am grateful for.

I am going through a low period in my parenting (it's not the first, and certainly won't be the last). Although I'm struggling right now, I still believe that being a Mom is my ultimate calling. And despite the fact that my job really stinks right now, I do love my job. Really.

Two Times Four

Two times two equals four. Two times four equals chaos, glorious chaos. At least when you get four two-year-olds together for 3 days!

Our friends from out west came to visit for a few days this past week, and it was a lot of fun! Mark met Erik in college, and they became good friends. Shortly after graduation, Erik moved out west (but graciously returned for a visit to stand up in our wedding). A couple years later, he married Amanda, and Mark stood up in their wedding. It was then that we met Amanda for the first time, and really liked her. But given that it was their wedding, we hardly had time to get to know her during that visit, of course! It was really nice to be able to spend a few days to really get to know her - - - and to discover that she is really cool! Amanda and I have quite a bit in common, and it's great to have a new friend.

Erik and Amanda have twin boys, Jackson and Isaac, who are almost 2-1/2 years old. So our house was filled to the brim with two year olds and all that brings: belly-laughter, surliness, sharing and not-sharing, marching band parades, fevers (poor Jackson), crankiness, singing, and so much more. I think we're all exhausted! I bet Erik and Amanda need a vacation after their vacation! ;)

Here is a snapshot of what life is like with four terrific twos! {Erik will be happy that I spared the blog of a very silly picture of him playing the kids' drum - you owe me one, buddy!}

Here is Jackson giggling on the swing. Jackson LOVES letters and numbers more than any other child I have seen. He is one smart cookie, and it was so cute to hear him singing his ABC's!

Here, the kids (and Amanda and Mark) are playing "quiet and loud" by tapping on the ball. Look at those crazy arms flying when they are being noisy!

Four little fishies swimming in the tiny tub in our kids' bathroom. For some reason, our kids are always bathing with any other kids who come to visit. How cozy!

Erik was holding a feverish Jackson while Ethan sneaks into his lap for cuddles himself. Ethan was enamored with Erik!

Isaac is riding our new Jeep (a hand-me-down toy). He really liked driving all over the yard, and throwing the frisbee to the dogs. Isaac is fun and energetic, similar to Abby. Silly boy!

"I'm not too sure what to think of you..." [Abby and Jackson]

Weighing In on Confirmation

A couple weeks ago, we celebrated the Sacrament of Confirmation for two of my nieces. For those of you who are not Catholic, let me explain. In the Catholic Church, members are usually Baptized as infants. Their parents take on the responsibility of raising them in the Catholic Faith. Confirmation is a ritual whereby the confirmation candidates accept the faith as their own, becoming full members of the church. Currently in our area, the standard grade for Confirmation is 8th grade.

I was in 10th grade when I was Confirmed. Frankly, I struggled with the decision. Being such an analytical person, I wanted to have all of the facts before I commited myself to the Catholic Church. I wanted to try out other Christian religions to make sure Catholicism was the right choice. [I knew that I would be Christian, just not sure which denomination]. Being 15/16, I couldn't exactly check out other faiths on my own (how on earth would I get there?) I questioned the decision so much that I pushed off Confirmation for a year (the standard at that time was 9th grade). In 10th grade, I figured it was time to $hit or get off the pot. I chose my sister Becky as my sponsor, and away we went.

I was not ready to be Confirmed in 9th grade.

I was not ready to be Confirmed in 10th grade.

I was not truly ready to be Confirmed until I was a sophomore or junior in college (age 20). By that point, I had attended a Baptist church for about a year with one of my friends (just to the Wednesday night programs - not their Sunday services). My experiences there made me stronger in my Catholic faith. By age 20, I had also become very involved in the youth programs at my church, and had determined that I wanted to make a career decision to become a Youth Minister. My faith was strong, and was shaping my moral decisions. I understood much more of what it means to be Catholic as opposed to being of another denomination. I realized how drawn I was to Catholicism and I was ready to commit myself to the Catholic church. The only problem was that I already had - 4 years earlier.

As an adult, I think the guidelines for Confirmation are absurd. In my humble opinion, an eighth grade student (13 years old) cannot see around corners enough to know how they will feel about their faith as an adult. Experience brings our faith to life, and the faith experiences of a middle or high school student are limited. I don't mean to disparage my nieces in any way; their commitment is theirs alone to make, and their readiness is not the focus of this blog entry. I just wish that my personal Confirmation experience could have been the celebration of an adult making a real commitment to the church, instead of the child I was agreeing to something I wasn't entirely certain of. My own Confirmation of faith could have been so much more meaningful for me.

I'm just sorry it meant so little at the time.

Mark Makes a Dent

By all accounts, our vacation away from home was productive. Abby, Ethan and I had a great time visiting friends and family. And Mark (and his Dad) made a big dent in the basement finishing project.

The main room (rec room) has drywall installed everywhere now, and looks great! The office is about 2/3 complete with drywall installation, but is a MUCH smaller room so it shouldn't take too much longer to finish. Next, we will be hiring out the taping/mudding of the drywall, which will be a great relief to have done. Mark is definitely on his way!

It's hard to believe the basement was a large cement rectangle just a few months ago, and now it has three distinct rooms (and two closets). Soon enough, the kids and I will be playing downstairs and our computers can move out of our bedroom. It's very exciting! Thank you, Honey!!

The view from the bottom of the stairs

The view of the wall opposite

Happy Birthday To Me

Yes, today is the big thirty-two for me. It is a special year for me. I am now the same age my mom was when she had me. This is really weird for me, since my mom was always one of the oldest of my friends' moms. But I know that times have definitely changed, because I am probably near the average age for having two-year-olds. Lately, I'm feeling like I'm in my 30's, but I'm not ages beyond my peers, so happy 32nd to me! I hope this year is fabulous!

Thursday, I told the kids in our babysitting co-op that I was having a birthday this weekend. I asked some of them "How old am I?" and here is what I got:
Olivia (age 3): 6 years old
Jeffrey (age 5): 10 years old
Ethan (age 2): cake... hat! [he is still hung up on his birthday]
Lexi (age 3): um... let's see... you are 50 plus 5!

Whirlwind Vacation - Part 4

As part of our whirlwind vacation, we took a trip to visit my sister Bobbi and her husband Leif (and teenage kids Ben, Kelsey, Bree and Erik). We had lots of fun going on a picnic at the park, walking to the ice cream store, playing on the trampoline, playing the piano, splashing in their homemade kid-sized pools and strolling through the neighborhood. It was great to see everyone, and fun to see that my nieces and nephews are truly teenagers (off to the mall, parties, dates, etc.). I love you guys!

Uncle Leif helped Abby check out the river. If he would have let her go, she would have definitely attempted a swim. Sometimes Abby's a little too brave.

Ben didn't know I took this picture of him and his girlfriend Rosy reading a book together. Isn't that sweet?
Abby couldn't get Ben's name right! She started with "boy" and then "Ryan" and "Alex" (two of her teenage cousins who live in town). She really did love you, Ben!

Bree is hangin' out with Ethan. Notice the soccer ball behind her... is she trying to recruit my son?? ;) I wouldn't be too surprised!

Kelsey and Abby together :) Kelsey is a great babysitter!

Ethan was excited to hang from the tree. Leif actually only let him go for a second or two for this picture. Doesn't Ethy look so happy?

Ethan and his cousin Erik. Erik played with the kids a lot at the park, and Abby kept asking for him the next morning (he spent the night at a friend's house). "Erik... where are you?"

Whirlwind Vacation - Part 3

Only in the south does a kids' menu include "mac and cheese bites."

When Jennifer asked what they entailed, we learned that you can indeed batter blobs of macaroni and cheese and deep fry it.

Of course, we had to order some for the kids. Just to see what it was like.

Mmmm. Tasty.

Whirlwind Vacation - Part 2

Now, given my string of luck over the past few months, you wouldn't expect a week-long vacation to be eventless, would you?? Of course not. This is me we're talking about here.

While the kids and I were on vacation, I spent another night in the hospital ER. This time, with Abby. My usually-healthy-as-a-horse daughter and I were in the ER from 11pm Friday to 4am Saturday.

Friday afternoon, after a 30 minute drive to the zoo (which ended up being closed for the day), Abby would not walk. Correction, Abby would not even stand. She stood briefly while her body shook, with panic and confusion written all over her face. No amount of prodding could get her to move, and she begged me to carry her. I thought she was scared to see the animals, because Emma was saying that she was scared and Abby emulates her older "cousin".

When we arrived back home, Abby wanted to lay on the couch. This alone worried me more than anything else, since healthy-as-a-horse Abby would never want to lay on the couch while everyone else played. Apparently, I've been watching the medical TV show "House" too often, because I started fearing terrible things (did she get a paralyzing tick-bite, which requires immediate attention or she is going to have permanent damage?) She was not acting normally at all, and the only thing I knew was that she had not appeared injured while she played earlier. I was really worried. And I wished Mark was there.

By bedtime, she was walking on her own (although with a limp). In fact, she wouldn't let me help. I've never been happier to hear "I do it!," because it meant she was acting more normally. She couldn't run, but I was willing to see how she was doing in the morning and make a decision. At 11:00, she woke me with screams when she had tried to roll over in her sleep. I knew it was time to go to the hospital.

After leaving Ethan in Danny's care, we drove to the hospital. I have learned that everything at a hospital takes an eternity, especially if the powers that be don't deem your situation as a real emergency. This experience was no exception. Abby was finally seen about 2 hours after we arrived. The doctor determined that her pain was located in her right hip. After x-rays showed that there were no broken bones, he determined that there may be a muscle sprain (he seemed to be unconvinced of this), a viral infection of the joint, or a bacterial infection of the joint. A viral infection goes away on its own in a couple of days, there is no treatment for it (other than pain management). A bacterial infection requires some very nasty tests to diagnose, and is difficult to clear up. It may require hospitalization to manage. He didn't necessarily think Abby had a bacterial infection (she had no fever, which was a good sign), but he was concerned enough about it to personally call me the next day to check on her.

I'm not my most lucid at 4:00 in the morning. After 5 hours in the ER running on a couple hours of sleep, I'm definitely not the brightest bulb in the marquee. So I pretty much heard that she could have this terrible bacterial infection, and I panicked. What if I miss the signs, and she gets a lot worse? What if she's in more pain than she's indicating? Will Mark have to fly down south to see his daughter in the hospital?

So, to ease my mind, I made an appointment with Jennifer's pediatrician's office for Saturday morning. Jennifer and I trudged the three oldest kids to the doctor, Abby hobbling the whole way.

After listening to my story, the doctor asked me, "has Abby been sick lately?" I was a little taken off-guard. "Yes, actually. She has had this cold for three weeks that she just can't shake. She's been taking 3 hour naps and sleeping in, and her appetite hasn't been normal. I took her to her pediatrician, and he determined it was just a nasty cold." He smiled a little, as only a man who has just figured out the solution to a problem can. "I'm fairly certain, especially since Abby has had no fever, that a viral infection is the cause of her hip problem. It seems very likely that the same virus that gave her the nasty cold has travelled to her hip." And that's when I had my "a-ha" moment. If the ER doctor had asked me the same question, I doubt I would have been at the pediatrician's office that morning. The doctor ordered some blood work to quickly determine if a bacterial infection was likely, and the results were negative.

By Sunday morning, Abby was completely back to normal. And Mark and I were extremely relieved. Our daughter can go back to her "healthy-as-a-horse" status now. We're fine with that, thank you very much.