How did you get here, my dear?

First of all, Happy Mothers Day to all of you mothers out there. Enjoy your day! Our day will likely be spent with a little time at the med center with Ethan, since he has croup very badly and I fear it may have developed into something more (pneumonia? large bronchial airway problems?) But something this morning did put a smile on my face, and I'd like to share.

I've got a "site-meter" attached to this blog, so I can track the location where people are reading my blog, the number of hits I'm getting, and good stuff like that. Basically, are you guys reading this or what? It also tracks searches (on Google and others) that brought people to one of my posts. Today, someone got to my blog via a search for "smelly Indian women." Remember my very last post, where I said my cast was smelly and said that women weren't shaped like The Incredible Hulk and that my Indian name is "Slug Lazing?" This is how someone found me.

Here are several searches that I've gotten hits from over the last couple of months.

1. Trista infertility: Unfortunately, I think they only care about Trista Rehn of The Bachelorette fame. But I want to know - who gives a *bleep* about her fertility? That's soooo 2003.
2. Mom tattoos: The reason I got hit on this one was my post on the Variety Show where we drew on Mom tattoos for the end of the show. Man, we were such rebels.
3. I've gotten over 15 hits from searches for some variation of broken arm. I've also gotten spam comments about my broken arm, so I'm sure that's why there are so many searches.
4. Cute toddler haircuts: I hope someone got a good idea by checking out Abby's hair at the end of 2005. I hope they did not check out the slanty-banged haircut of the cheap salon, they might not be too impressed.
5. Meat goes bad: I hope [team] meat doesn't go bad! But just to be safe, keep checking me for mom tattoos.
6. Several people are looking for toddler tips - Disney Princess Pull-ups, pull-ups poopies, Tips on how to get 2 year old to stay in bed, crib escape, minesies. Since we've been potty training for 3 *long* months now, and Abby still gets out of her room almost a year after switching to her big-girl bed, I wouldn't consider us the poster-family for these practices. Sorry!
7. Lunchmeat and pregnancy: huh??
8. And finally, I get my fair share of "questionable" searches that always crack me up: sexy moms, "I like fun", cousin lovin', sexy meat, and my absolute personal favorite of all time: forty one year old in diaper. The only thing I wonder about the last one is, couldn't it be a 40 year old? What's wrong with a 42 year old? Apparently, 41 is prime.

Have a great day celebrating motherhood! Hope you had a good laugh!