Abby My Angel

I promised long ago that I would write about Abby's entrance into our lives, but have yet to do it. Until today, that is. :)
__________________________________________
To tell Abby's story, we must start a couple of months prior.

In July of 2003, another baby (a baby boy) was born to a mother who had made a tentative adoption plan and made a connection with us as adoptive parents. In the final hour, the mother made the decision to parent the baby herself. As much as we had prepared ourselves emotionally for such a situation, Mark and I still had to grieve.

Over the next few weeks, we did some major spring cleaning both emotionally and physically. We spent a lot of time crying, we spent a lot of time avoiding, we spent a lot of time numb. And we spent a lot of time regaining hope, a lot of time starting fresh, and a lot of time coming to peace. We sorted through all of our belongings, using the nursery as a centralized area for extra furniture, boxes, etc. It became so full of all of the "stuff" in our lives, we could barely get the door open.

We took long walks, and talked for long hours. Through our talks, we decided that the time was right to move back to our hometown. Moving back was always in our plans, but the timing was just unclear. We had been away for 6 years, and missed our family so very much. Mark had built up his resume enough to get a job in a less technical city. It was time to come home.

We connected with a realtor in our city even before Mark started looking for jobs. The realtor came to our house to assess its value and to give us tips on how to get ready to sell. We ended the meeting feeling good about the prospect of selling, and looked forward to moving on to the next chapter of our lives.

Little did we know what would be written in that chapter. The very next day, just as Mark arrived home from work, the phone rang.

Me: "Hello?"
Agency Rep (AR): "Hi, Trista. Umm.... are you sitting down?"
Me, a bit learily: "Do I need to be...?"
AR: "We met with a potential birthmother today about a baby girl who was born yesterday. She decided to make an adoption plan, and chose you from the profiles she viewed."
Me: [stunned silence]
AR: "You are going to be parents! Congratulations!"
Me: "Oh my gosh! I can't believe it! This is unbelievable!" [and so on]
AR: "We need to go back to the hospital tonight and have the birthmother and her mother sign the legal guardianship transfer papers, because she is a minor. And it looks like you can take the baby home tomorrow."

The AR filled me in on some of the details... the birthparents were 16 and 15 years old, and were no longer dating but were friends. The birthmom (M.) had hidden her pregnancy from her family until 2 weeks before. M. wanted to parent. Her family couldn't see how that was possible, and her grandmother encouraged her to look into adoption. M. finally looked at profiles after her baby Anna was born (Anna is Abby's birthname). She chose us, but didn't want to meet us then. Our agency still had to contact Abby's birthfather regarding the adoption.

I hung up the phone and filled Mark in on what he hadn't heard. We were both so leary of getting our hearts set on becoming parents that we downplayed it. We still felt raw from the adoption that didn't happen. Shortly after the call, Mark left for a scheduled meeting he had, and I was home alone.

I was on pins and needles. Who could I talk to about this? I needed to talk to someone, but I didn't want to call family until we knew it was going to happen for sure. As much as Mark and I were grieving, our whole family was grieving and I didn't want to bring them back up the rollercoaster with me this time. I called my friend Jennifer, trying not to sound like it was a done deal but getting hopeful. I called my friend Jenny, trying to sound equally non-challant but becoming even more excited.

I finally got off the phone and the AR called around 10:15. She had been trying to call for quite awhile and the phone was busy (oops). She informed me that M. and her mom had signed the paperwork granting us temporary custody, and that M. had checked herself out of the hospital. We could arrive at the hospital the next day at 10:30 to take Abby home. In twelve hours, we would see our daughter for the first time. I could barely process the news.

Just after I hung up, Mark's car pulled in. I shared all of the news with him, and we finally felt it was as "official" as it was going to get. We called our parents and siblings, waking some of them up. Everyone was shocked and excited and hopeful.

Mark cleaned out the nursery until 1:00 in the morning. It was good that he had something to do - we couldn't sleep anyway. I got out the little girl baby clothes and put them in the drawers, got the diapers ready, made sure the baby bag was packed and ready to go. In the morning, we arrived at the hospital right on time and were taken to a private room where the precious baby was brought in with her hospital bassinet.

She was the most beautiful baby I had seen, but she was so unfamiliar to me. I took her out of the bassinet and held all 7 pounds of her. She was so light, and so fragile. I studied her face, her hair, her beauty, her very long fingers. I finally handed her over to Mark. He awkwardly took this very small baby into his very long arms and stood in the middle of the hospital room, crying. I put my arms around them both and we shared our first family hug. Mark and I cried, and Abby just slept. I will never forget seeing Mark that way, so vulnerable and emotional. It makes me cry now remembering.

We spent the next three hours in the hospital room with Abby while we waited for her final test for jaundice so she could be released. We fed her, took off all of her clothes and examined every inch of her wrinkly little body, sang to her, rocked her, cooed at her. We bonded. And then we took her home. To be our precious daughter. For life.