Eleven Years and Counting

Just this weekend, Mark and I celebrated 11 years together since our first date. It's fun to remember how we were back then, how young and naive (I was 20 and Mark was 19). How did we get to that point? Let me tell you. :)

Mark and I "knew" each other in childhood. We grew up attending the same church, and our families were very active. So, Mark and I were involved in a lot of the same activities at church. But we didn't go to the same elementary or middle schools, and Mark was a grade behind me. Although we knew each other through church, we weren't friends... yet.

In my senior year of high school, I became heavily involved in our church's Youth Group. Mark did, too. We both had a very good work ethic, and were part of a core team who led the group. We got to know each other more personally, and began to "hang out" together at school as well. We would find each other before school and talk in the library, or walk "the loop" in the main building. Meeting in the morning became a regular thing with us, although we never spoke of it. Soon, I found that I had a crush on Mark and wanted him to ask me out.

I was not subtle about my crush, but I was also very cautious. Something inside said, "this could be serious - don't mess it up!!" So I showed interest, but not too much. And Mark showed interest, but didn't ask me out.

I remember that he would brush the snow off my car after Youth Group meetings, even though we were "just friends." And we would always end up sitting next to each other at the meetings. We had inside jokes that only we understood. All the signs were there that we were a good match. But Mark didn't ask me out.

After months of this, I figured he wasn't all that into me or something would have happened. So I started a relationship with another guy, just before graduation. The relationship lasted almost 3 years, during which I didn't see much of Mark at all (Mark went away to school, and I stayed home). But I never forgot him.

Toward the end of my relationship, I realized there was lots of things I needed in my partner that he couldn't provide. And I remembered how many of those things Mark had (or showed promise of having) when we were in high school. Mark was the most caring and sensitive young man I had known, and I could foresee what he would be as a husband and father to my children. He had strong faith, the same faith I had. He was hard-working, careful, giving, intelligent, funny. He became a yardstick by which I measured other men. I decided to end the relationship with my boyfriend. And then fate [*God*] intervened.

Mark was home from school for Thanksgiving break, which I knew because I had friendships with his younger brother and sister. A group of us from church decided to get together for a night of games and fun, and I invited Mark. I decided (with lots of encouragement from my big sister Becky) that I would use that night to ask Mark on a date for the next day. During the party, the time ticked on and I couldn't find the courage to ask. Becky called me on the phone periodically to find out if I had asked yet... and to provide me the kick in the pants I needed when she heard I hadn't. The party was ending, and I was chickening out. But, I knew if I didn't do it, there would be heck to pay with Becky. So, as Mark was heading out the door, I casually asked if he wanted to see a movie the next day. He accepted.

The date went great, and we caught up on so much that had happened in 3 years. It was comfortable and fun and casual and sweet and EASY. And I knew that we were starting where we left off, but we were starting as adults and not children, and that the stakes this time were much higher. And that "this really could be serious - so don't mess it up!!"

Thanks to God, I didn't.