Express Yourself

It's raining. It's 10 a.m. We're still in our p.j.'s. What kind of faces can you kids make?

Laughing

Surprised

Mad

Silly

Happy

Sad

Serious

Crazy

Three Years Ago Today...

... you, beautiful baby girl, were born to two teenaged parents with hearts full of love
... an adoption plan was beginning to be formed, and Daddy and I would be chosen to parent you
... we had no idea you were coming into our lives, and had just decided to move back "home" to be close to family again
... our nursery was waiting for a child to come home, but was filled to the brim with extra furniture that we were sorting through
... we didn't know that a precious baby would change our lives forever in just a short while
... we were two days away from meeting our daughter, and falling in love

Happy 3rd Birthday, Abby. We love you so very much.

Free to a good home

Does anyone need a size 3T shirt sporting a scantily-clad Esmeralda from Disney's The Hunchback of Notre Dame? Warning - it may come to you unwashed and wet from one little girl's tears!

This particular shirt has been deemed the "princess shirt" and has been worn all-day, every day for the last week. It's starting to get a little dingy, quite frankly. The only time Abby has parted with the beloved shirt is for her bath, but before her hair can dry she is looking for the shirt (which I have quickly hidden in the bottom of the laundry pile). I personally find the shirt to be pretty ugly, so I cringe to bring her out in public with it (what will the other mothers think? hahaha!).

But, I guess the situation could be worse - she could be attached to a pair of underwear!

Some Days I Need an Extra Dose of Patience

Me: "Abby and Ethan, it's time for a snack! Would you like Cheez-its or a fruit bar?"
Ethan: "Cheez-its!"
Abby: "Fruit bar! A green one!"
Me: "Abby... you for sure want a green fruit bar, right?"
Abby: "Yes, Mommy."
[Said snacks are distributed]
Abby: "No, Mommy! Pink fruit bar!"
[Pink fruit bar is given in exchange]
Abby (franticly): "No, Mommy! I want Cheez-its!!"
Me: "Abby, I gave you the pink fruit bar like you asked. It's already opened up. You may not have Cheez-its right now. You get to eat the yummy pink fruit bar."
Abby (throwing fruit bar across table and babbling incoherently): "ahamamfjwerr Cheez-its ughemshgtrls Mommy ryrofurkljf no fruit bar!"
[I ignore her and walk away, cleaning up as she wails]
Abby (now a blubbering ball of slobber): "aaaaaaaaaaaaah oooooooooooooh sob sob waaaaaah"
[I am still ignoring her and cleaning up]
Ethan (eyeing her uneaten snack): "Abby - I have fruit bar??"
Abby (all wailing stops immediately): "No, Ethan!! MY fruit bar."
[And Abby proceeds to eat her pink fruit bar]

One of the *many* reasons I love Mark

The Great Camp-out

Friday, 5:00 p.m. We've arrived at our campsite. As anticipated, we are the farthest site out. A fire pit and a picnic table are all that distinguish our lot from the surrounding forest. The parking lot is approximately 1/4 mile away, as Mark can attest to since he walked the trail approximately 37 times to bring our gear back. Thank goodness for Becky, and her endless supply of camping equipment that was loaned to us. It will make our first camping experience as a family much more enjoyable.

Friday, 6:00 p.m. Mark is putting up the tent now, and the kids have explored every inch of our surroundings. They especially like to play in the dirt with the beach toys we brought. All of their explorating has caused them to grow too hungry to wait for a campfire. It's time to dig into the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches I have packed. Oh - wait - Mark can't find the tent stakes. Time to call Becky to ask where they might be.

Friday, 6:10 p.m. Becky tells me that Ryan had put them in the outside pocket of the tent bag. We rechecked the pocket, and it is empty. Mark will have to get creative. He's hunting for small branches now to pound into the ground.
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We have visitors! Mark's Aunt Sue, Aunt Marianne and Uncle Jim just trekked back to our campsite. They are staying at the same campground in their RV's, and have come to welcome us. I'm sure they're impressed by Mark's wooden stakes; it matches the primitive atmosphere of our campsite. I think we'll all take a walk to check out the rest of the campground and to visit Aunt Sue's RV.

Friday, 7:45 p.m. After a good visit at Aunt Sue's, and a trip to the park playground, we are back to our site. It's time to start our campfire!

Friday, 10:00 p.m. We're off to the tent to get the kids to bed. They loved the s'mores, Abby especially loved to roast marshmallows. We sang a few songs, and enjoyed the campfire smell. They kids are dirty, and loving every second of it. Once the kids are asleep, Mark and I will sit around the fire a bit more. Ahhh... beautiful nature.


Saturday, 7:20 a.m. There is rustling in our tent... little children stirring from their sleep. The sound of birds and other campers fills the air. It's time to start our day! But boy, is it chilly. It was supposed to go below 50 degrees last night, and it sure feels like it did.




Saturday, 11:00 a.m. After a fun-filled morning exploring, gathering pinecones and playing in the dirt, we're off to our next adventure - Mark's extended family reunion. It's just a short walk to the picnic area where family is already starting to gather. It should be fun! I hope we don't smell too much...

Saturday, 1:45 p.m. The reunion has been a lot of fun, with a lot of good food. Abby and Ethan have been running around all over, but Ethan is definitely slowing down. It's time to try a nap - I will take him to the tent while Mark and Abby enjoy the reunion.





Saturday, 6:00 p.m. We've left the picnic in order to scrounge up some dinner. We've had hotdogs for lunch, and it doesn't sound very appealing right now. So we'll try some canned ravioli with green beans and grapes. It's not the most deluxe camping meal, but it is simple, which is what this weekend is about.



Saturday, 9:00 p.m. After dinner, we headed back to Aunt Sue's RV. There were lots of people there from the picnic, and there was a lot of food. The kids roasted hotdogs over the campfire, while I opted for a cup of coffee. We visited while the kids played with sandtoys, and then walked back to our campsite and started our own campfire. Tonight's treat was cinnamon sugar sprinkled on bread cooked over the fire. Pretty yummy! We're putting the kids to bed now --- Abby is running on fumes! Then we'll enjoy some more adult time by the fire. What a vacation this has been!



Sunday, 8:15 a.m. The kids are waking up now. We haven't slept until 8:15 ... um... ever? This fresh air and fun is sure doing us all a lot of good. I haven't felt this relaxed in a long while. And I am so happy to see the kids having so much fun.

Sunday, 11:00 a.m. We've packed the van, and are ready to head home from our terrific vacation. Next stop, a big breakfast at a restaurant on our way home! And this week we will definitely have to look for a sale on tents - we're doing this again for sure!!

Baby Feeders

WARNING - this post is about breasts. Stop reading now if you are uncomfortable!!
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There has been a lot of controversy surrounding this picture on the cover of BabyTalk magazine. There are a lot of people who think breastfeeding should be hidden from view (and I agree with discretion). But the comments people are making about this photo - equating it with pornography - give me a break! Breast feeding is God's amazing system of feeding our young. It is not sexual. It is not "dirty." It's a beautiful, natural thing.

I have mentioned in this post that breastfeeding is one of the things about infertility that I'm grieving. But I didn't mention that I tried it. A woman who has not just born a child can actually induce lactation, it's true. And because I had a strong desire to bond with my baby in this way -and- to provide the baby with good [free] nutrition, I decided to try to induce lactation. The most effective protocol recommends use of birth control pills, use of a breast pump, and use of a drug called Domperidone (which has a side effect of breast milk production). We weren't comfortable taking an unnecessary drug, and weren't comfortable with birth control pills [we practice Natural Family Planning], so I was on a pumping-only regime while we were waiting to see if the potential adoption (before Abby) would happen. For about a month, I pumped on a regular schedule, ramping up to every three hours, and once during the night. After a month, I wasn't producing any milk (and really, there were no noticable changes going on either). So, I just kind of let the regime dwindle back down to nothing. A month after that, the adoption fell through, and 2 months after that, Abby was born.

When we brought Abby from the hospital, I tried to get her to latch on to my breast, similar to using a pacifier. We would spend five minutes working on it, and eventually give up and move on to other things. I was successful at getting a latch a couple of times, so I knew it was time to try actual feeding.

I had an apparatus that would supply formula through a tube that was attached to my breast. With the apparatus, when a baby tried to nurse, they would receive the formula through this "straw." The apparatus was a royal pain in the rear to get ready, and then to attach. When that was all set, it was time to try latching. I would put Abby to the breast, and she would flail all over [some things never change]. She would try to suckle, and get frustrated quickly. She would start to wail. And I would start to wail.

After a week of really trying to breastfeed, Mark suggested that maybe I should forgive myself if it wasn't going to work. I was so relieved. I had been feeling guilty about wanting to give up, and feeling like such a failure. It was nice to be able to forgive myself. Mark said that he had hoped I could breastfeed, but that not breastfeeding wasn't going to ruin Abby. I was very sad that I didn't breastfeed, but I was having a hard enough time adjusting to parenthood and couldn't dedicate all of the energy needed to breastfeeding. Had I been a breastfeeding mom, I'd like to think I would have been able to breastfeed discreetly, even in public. Breastfeeding is such a beautiful thing.

One of the blogs I regularly read is written by Kateri. She has a great post about the BabyTalk controversy, asking for women to post indiscreet nursing photos on their own blogs. She lists the links to them here. Check it out - if you dare.

Mom2Mom Tips: Grocery Shopping

I don't enjoy cooking. Therefore, it makes some sense that grocery shopping is not high on my list, either. But it is a chore necessary to anyone who eats, so let's make it simpler!

"Grocery Shopping"

• Create a store-specific list - I got this idea from my sister's partner, Nancy. I have made up a spreadsheet detailing the regular items that we buy by aisle number for my favorite grocery store. I keep copies in my kitchen, and when we run out of an item, I simply circle it on the list [if it is not on the list yet, I write it in for the proper aisle]. I save A LOT of time in the store by knowing exactly which aisles I need to go down (and skipping the ones I don't!) I then take a highlighter and mark any items I have a coupon for, so I can recheck the coupon once I get to that aisle. I staple any coupons I will be using directly to the list, so I don't lose them.
  
• Leave the kids at home - This is sometimes my best option, but I usually don't feel like shopping after they go to bed.
• Take hubby to the store - If we go to the store as a family, we take two carts and split up. Since we have a printout of the grocery list by aisle, I simply rip the list in half and Mark takes one half of the store while I take the other. Shopping really goes quickly!
  
• Making many trips - Before the kids were born, I shopped in a two-week cycle: The first week, I made one really big shopping trip and bought all of the non-perishables for two weeks plus any perishables I would need for one week. The next week, I made a second trip limited to the perishables we needed. Now, since I bring the kids to the store with me, I have found that going twice a week for shorter amounts of time makes each trip more manageable. The kids can behave well for 30 minutes, but an hour or more is definitely pushing it!
• Cool carts - our grocery store just got new carts that have TV's built in. For $1, you can rent the cart while you shop. I will not do this every time, but if it is necessary to shop at a time when the kids are really cranky, I won't hesitate to pay up.
• Choose the time wisely - My kids are the most well-behaved early in the morning. Our most successful shopping trips are right after breakfast, when they are full, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. Our worst shopping trips are right before naps are due, or right before lunch. I make sure to plan a shopping trip the night before so we can be out the door early in the morning.
• Hand it over - In order to keep the kids happy during the trip, I let them hold some of the groceries to "help" me. If they try to open the package, or bite through it [Ethan!], I immediately take it away. They will usually be happy holding the same box of cereal with characters on it for the whole trip.
  
• Rewarding the kids - a.k.a. bribery. We start each trip with, "if you behave while we shop, and stay in the cart, you can have [prize.] If you don't, you won't get to have [prize.]" Our prizes include: a trip to the pet department of the store, where we can look at the fish, hamsters and birds; a ride on the penny horse (our store still has one, if you can believe it!); a donut at the bakery (they split it); and fruit snacks in the check-out aisle (which I bring in my purse). I stick to my guns - if they have not behaved well in the store (like, I have to tell them to sit down and buckle up three or more times, or they just aren't listening to me), they do not get the prize. Sometimes, only one of them gets the prize and the other is carried out of the store crying. In that case, I hold my head high, knowing I'm doing right by my kids in the long run!

So... what are your grocery shopping tips? [I encourage you to write your own post about this topic, or comment on this post.]

Gathering nuts

It has been 5 months since our home study was completed. Five months of waiting, essentially. And I have not spent very much time preparing.

The thought of another child has been on the back burner - the very back burner. When I was carting around a broken arm this spring, I was grateful that I wasn't trying to cart around a newborn at the same time. When summer began, and all of our weekends were filled, I was glad that I was well-rested enough to keep up with our schedules. But now, as fall is approaching, I am starting to think like a squirrel and to gather nuts for the winter.

Preparing for Abby's arrival in our family was a long process. From the time our homestudy was finished to the time Abby was born, 21 months had passed. I had a lot of time to get the nursery ready and stock up on the essentials. And I had more than enough time to pine for a newborn.

When we were contacted by Ethan's birthfamily, we hadn't even started our second homestudy. There was no time of waiting for someone to be interested in us, or time spent worrying. Within three months of meeting his birthfamily, Ethan was born. We already had an infant at the time, so everything was ready for his arrival. Everything was prepared for him.

Over the past five months, my busy schedule has been a great distraction. I haven't taken any time to prepare. To worry. To pine. My memories of waiting for Abby are still fresh, and I am certainly not yearning for those helpless feelings again. But as our summer activities are winding down, I find myself thinking more and more about the possibility of another child, another sibling for our kids, another personality in the mix of our family. About how our lives would all change. About what kind of mother I could be to three amazing kids. About what awesome siblings Abby and Ethan could be to a little brother or sister. About the sacrifices that Mark, Abby, Ethan and I would have to make to welcome a new member of our family. About how incredible and incredibly difficult it would be. And I am hopeful.

We've started to physically prepare for a baby, should we be so blessed. This week, we purchased bunk beds. For now, they are separated and Abby and Ethan each sleep in one. Eventually, if we have a third child, they will be bunked to hold two boys or two girls. When the new beds were installed, the old cribs were taken down. One crib went to our neighbors, who are expecting a second baby. The other crib now lays in waiting, a reminder of our current status.

I am excited to start gathering nuts for winter, to really wait for a baby. I am filled with hope and with joy.

Full of bunk

The kid's have new bunk beds (currently de-bunked) --- ta da!

Abby is very excited about her new bed. She loves having sheets, and a new soft blanket. She looks so small in her bed now!

Ethan loved shopping for bunk beds. When we were finished shopping, he actually cried. "More bunk beds!"

Best of Luck to Robbie Baby and Dawne

On Saturday, Mark's brother Rob and his girlfriend Dawne will be moving to New Mexico. Rob will be attending art school there, getting closer to his dream of being a professional artist.

We wish them the best! We will miss them! And although I'm not Irish, I still send them with the Irish blessing:

May the road rise up to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,
may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Best of luck to you both, and may you flourish in your new home!

An Eye for Photography

Yesterday, Ethan says, "Mommy, take picture!" While I'm grabbing the camera, he and Abby set up their pose by the front door. Maybe Ethan has "the eye," eh?


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That's My 'Rinse!

While Aunt Jennifer, Uncle Danny, Emma and Ally were visiting a couple weeks ago, they decided to give Abby her birthday presents a little early (her b-day isn't until the end of August).

This video shows Abby opening her most prized gift, her very first Barbie doll. You would think they gave her a million dollars! Abby's so very happy about her "'rinse!" (princess). Jennifer's famous quote: "That's the best $5 I've ever spent!"



Video Highlights: Off-key birthday singing, "That's my 'rinse!", Emma opening Abby's present in the background
Video Lenght: 1 min. 44 sec.
Video Quality: Definitely not my best work, but what else can I do with a digital still camera? :)


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Mom2Mom Tips - Rewarding Kids Inexpensively

I have decided to start a new weekly feature item in my blog, which I will call Mom2Mom Tips. My hope is that other blogging moms will also write weekly about the same topic I am (for instance, this week is "Rewarding Kids Inexpensively"). That way, we can share tips with one another and hopefully all learn new techniques to help our daily lives run smoother. Those of you who read this but do not have a blog yourselves, you can simply post a comment to offer your own tips related to the subject. Simple, right? Jump on the bandwagon --- you know you want to! ;) And if you do write a post, let me know about it and I will link to it from this post.
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"Rewarding Kids Inexpensively"

• Sticker charts - my kids really respond to sticker charts, and I give a prize for receiving a certain number of stockers for good behavior (prizes start at 5 stickers for a new behavior, and 10 stickers for a behavior that is more of a pattern).
• Calling someone to brag - I make a point to call someone if my kids do something great or really cool (for instance, we called Grandma when Ethan slept in his big-boy bed for the first time). The kids beam with pride when they are bragged about.
• High Fives - I give high fives for cleaning up, going potty, figuring out a puzzle, etc. Abby and I developed "Far-Away Fives" (high fiving the air from across the room) and "Foot Fives" (high fives given in the car, my hand to the kid's foot). Abby especially thinks this is really cool.
• Silly songs - I am forever making up songs, so I make up a song when the kids do something spectacular. We have a special potty song that goes, "Abby did a peepee, a peepee on the potty, Abby did a peepee, a peepee on the potty! Do-do-do-do-do-do-do!"
• Feeding the pig - Mark keeps a collection of his pocket change, and if the kids have been good, they get to put some into their piggy banks.
• Dollar store - as a reward for sticker-chart behavior, I will take the kids to the dollar store to choose an item. They think it's fun to look at all the items, and they get to take one home, even!
• Self Pride - I watch Dr. Phil regularly, and I was very impressed with this parenting concept. He said that in addition to showing your kids that you're proud of them, you should teach them to be proud of themselves. I make it a point when Abby or Ethan do something really impressive to say, "wow - I bet you're proud of the great job you did!" or "you should be really proud of yourself!" I hope this teaches them to be their own best friends.

So... what are your tips on "Rewarding Kids Inexpensively"?

Ponies and Princesses

Today, Abby was playing with a Barbie doll and asked me to put a rubberband in her hair. I put her hair into a ponytail, and said, "see, her hair is in a pony!" Abby of course said, "[she's] not a pony, [she's a] Princess!" Recognizing how I had confused her, I restated, "her hair is in a pretty ponytail." To which she replied, "not pony tail. Mommy tail!"

Of course, she's right.

I Wanna Soak Up the Sun

Yesterday, I was reminded how nice it is to live just minutes away from family instead of hours as we used to be. My parents took the kids and I, along with my nephew Dylan, out to the beach on Lake Michigan. My kids hadn't been to the lake yet, and they LOVED the sand and surf. The weather was perfect - air temp of 80, water temp of 72. It was the perfect day for their first experience of the "big water." I hope we can go again before summer is over!

A Day at the Spa

Friends are family you choose for yourself.

Well, I did it. I cashed in my gift certificate to the spa from Mark and the kids for Mother's Day. And instead of going alone, I traded in my certificate for a "Friends" package and took my best friend Jennifer! Her family is visiting for a week, and we decided that we needed a girls afternoon at the spa while we were together.

We started with luxurious full-body massages (Jennifer's favorite part). Next, we were ushered to a room where we received whirlpool pedicures (my favorite part - my feet felt soooo good afterward). From there, we each headed to a hair stylist and finally a make-up artist. We had such a good time, talking and enjoying each other. We almost forgot that we had kids and husbands to get back to!

When we got home, we grabbed our husbands and enjoyed a really fun dinner at a Spanish tapas restaurant (where you order all sorts of dishes and pass them around so everyone can try). We had some really good food, including some alligator that Jennifer ordered for us. From there we took a walk around our downtown area, passing a motorcycle rally and an outdoor rock concert. We finally ended up at a deuling piano bar, which turned out to be too loud, too smoky and a bit uninteresting. Oh well, we always have fun together anyway! It's great to have time together as couples, like before we were married. It's wonderful that we are such great friends after all these years!

Choosing my toenail polish. I had no idea there were so many choices - and the names of the polishes are hilarious! I ended up with "Can't Help Falling In Love" and Jennifer had "Not Really a Waitress."

Jenn's hair was gorgeous!

Our makeup artist was so fun. Jennifer said, "I'm your canvas. Just don't make me look like a wh@re." HAHA!

Our feet have never looked so good!

Two hotties and their hubbies. :)

Overheard from the Backseat

While driving home from brunch today, the minivan was filled with the loud rrrrrriiiiiipppp! noise that only Velcro can make.

Ethan: "Abby Daniel! No shoe off!"

We had to turn our heads so he wouldn't see us laughing.

A Mini Vacation

This past weekend, Mark and I went to Indianapolis for both business and pleasure (for me, it was all pleasure!) Mark and his colleague, Bill, had a meeting with a potential client scheduled for Sunday, so Mark and I made it a two-day affair and had ourselves a mini vacation. Our niece Courtney stayed with the kids, and acted as their junior mom while we were gone.
Mark and I went to Conner Prairie, and learned a bit about life in the midwest during the early/mid 1800s. It was actually very interesting, we especially liked talking to the volunteers there who dressed up in period clothes and told us all about life at the time. The only downside was that the day was way too hot and humid for comfort (about 90 degrees/90 percent), so we were sweating buckets. It made us appreciate the modern convenieces we are afforded, like air conditioning!
We had a nice dinner at a really cool contemporary place called Music Mill, which houses a stage/dance club as well as a restaurant. Shawn Mullins was scheduled to perform that night, but we opted for the hotel pool instead.

The next day, we met Bill for breakfast and the guys left for their meeting. I went shopping. I shopped at a local open-air mall, which was so nice. It was so hot and humid again, that I was really excited to go from store to store and get back into the air conditioning! In all, I shopped for five hours (wow!) I bought a few shirts for myself and a couple of things for Mark and the kids. It was really nice to have nowhere else to be than shopping for fun. Heavenly!

The kids kept Courtney on her toes, but she did a great job. When I was her age (and beyond) used to help my sister out by watching their 3, then 4, and finally 5 kids while they went away. It's cool to see one of those kids filling that role with my kids! :) I am proud of the way Courtney is so responsible. We're very fortunate, and grateful to be able to have time as a couple!

Parenting Mistake #236

#236 Washing your children's Loveys.

When they figure out they're missing, you may get this resonse...

Or this one...
They may try to find a substitute...

Or try to pry them from the dryer when they're still wet...
But when the Loveys are clean, you become a hero to a boy who loves Baby...

And a girl who loves her blankie.

PS... please read the post below and delurk if you haven't already!