Why in the *bleep* are we Moms so judgemental of each other??
Take this woman I am friendly with in my Moms Group. She is wild and crazy and hilarious. She is kind and friendly. But I sometimes just want to tell her to SHUT. UP.
On more than one occasion several of us moms have been discussing potty training. Although Abby and Ethan are now pretty much done with potty training, it took a loooooong time to get there. And it was the most frustrating parenting task I have had to complete. So these discussions with other moms (who share their own potty training woes) usually make me feel better about my own situation. I am definitely not alone.
And then my spunky friend (let's call her Sonya) always jumps in.
"Potty training after age 2???" she always asks, shocked by such a concept. "My kids were all done by their second birthday. And the longest it took me was two weeks to potty train."
At times like that, I want to tell her to JUST.SHUT.UP. Unfortunately, there are other instances when Sonya opens her mouth when it should remain closed.
The other day, my friend was sharing with the group how she was locking her son into his room at night because he had gotten up a few times in the middle of the night and gotten into dangerous things before his parents discovered him. Her pediatrician recommended locking him in for his own safety. (Boy, can I relate!)
Sonya pipes up with, "My kids wouldn't dare do that. When I tell them no, they listen!"
Again, I want to tell her to JUST.SHUT.UP.
I don't think Sonya intends to insult us. And really, it doesn't make me feel badly about my parenting abilities when she says these things. But I recognize that as Moms, we are all vulnerable at certain points in our parenting. Sometimes comments like these can push us over the edge. They can make us question our decisions. And make us feel like we're doing a rotten job. Not exactly the pick-me-up that we so often need.
So whenever I hear a "Sonya" spouting off about how their kids would never do "X" or about how easy it is to get your kids to do "Y", I silently think JUST.SHUT.UP.
And then I get an evil smirk on my face as I hatch a plan to send Abby to her house for just one week. I bet she'd change her tune. ;)
Life lessons from a Mama of two great kids (adopted domestically) and a wife of one awesomely supportive husband.
About Me
- Trista
- We're an active Catholic family of 4, with 2 dogs and 1 cat in the mix. Mark is a self-proclaimed geek. Trista is a stay-at-home mom. Abby is an adventurous 4-year old. Ethan is a caring 3-year old. Casey and Maggie are 2 fun-loving golden retrievers. Sawyer is a stray cat we've adopted. With lucky 7 in the house, what more could we want?
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6 comments:
I'd imagine Sonya's home life isn't nearly as joyful as she tries to makes it sound.
Besides, too much pride WILL come back to haunt her. :)
You've got two happy, social, and respectful kids. Quit kicking yourself in the brain over the little stuff.
Boy can I relate!! Those people's kids are usually the ones that get what they want when they throw a fit in the store, and the parent will deny it ever happened. Her kids aren't perfect, but she can say they are ;-)
A roll of duct tape is what I always wanted to carry with me, so I could shut them up...
I think if you saw the reality, it wouldn't be quite like she says. No house is without its challenges. I would venture to guess that hers is more rife with challenges if she feels the need to boast about it frequently.
I know Sonya very well although I think her name may be different! LOL!!!!!!
I have no idea what it is about certain people that they need to have all the answers like that. I agree with Steve, Becky, and Kary. There is a lady at work who said in front of several people who have two or less children (and have no desire to/can't have more than two children) that you aren't really a parent until you've had three children. My first reaction was WTF??? This woman's best friend was involved in this conversation and had to have a hysterectomy after her first child. Then I remember that every one of those three children that this "real" parent raised currently lives on public assistance with their two children a piece who were all born out of wedlock. Call me crazy, but I'll take being not a real parent if my children grow to be capable responsible adults. Thank you.
That being said, it would be dull for those people not to exist. How else would we be more clearly able to see our own perfection? ;)
Keep your chin up and a big smile on your face You and Mark are doing a great job and all of us that know and love you think so. Your kids are happy! Not everyone can even make that much of a positive statement. We love you and understand your frustration. They try very hard to make themselves feel better by making others feel worse. It is "their Parenting Style"...not much to be too proud of. Love to all of you and tell Abby I love her new ballerina slippers. She will be able to twirl better than anyone else with special shoes like those.
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